Imagination
Carrie Cox
Imagination. I
vaguely remember sitting in a college classroom listening to a hot physics
professor with a sexy English accent talking about Einstein. He was describing how Einstein believed there
are an infinite number of possibilities for someone’s life. In terms of time and space all things
overlapped. Whatever you could imagine is
probably happening simultaneously in that moment. That means somewhere in time and space you
were being born and dying in that same moment.
This gave new fodder to my day dreams, because somewhere in time and
space this physics professor was fulfilling my wildest dreams.
If you are married are day dreams considered cheating? I guess only if the physics professor is thinking the same thing. According to his theory our joint thoughts are what make our realities exist. I recall him saying that the atoms in a desk only become a desk, because we think them so, and that if we were to walk out of the room and stop observing them they might choose to be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Now, if you look at this from the quantum level, which he warned us against doing, it means that we only exist, because someone observes us. If physicists and priests got together could we prove the existence of a God through mutual observation?
When you think about it, perhaps we only exist in our relationships through mutual observations. My husband is not really my husband. He is who I observe my husband to be. I am who he observes me to be. I think this is how people get into negative patterns of observation.
Think about it, if you only expect to see the bad in someone, then that is all you will see. If you look for the negative, you will find it. I think that is what amazed me about being divorced. Memories that had once been cherished and happy turned into something repulsive and disappointing. They were the same memories, with a new twist.
We are really the sum total of our memories because now is never now. Now… nope gone… NOW… nope… Now is never now. Every second is the memory of the second before and how you interrupt that time. In creating our own reality we are really creating our own interpretation of the memory. I often wondered if I am even really experiencing this life or if I am just remembering something that is already complete. This makes me want to make the most of my memories if I have to live them over and over.
So, it begs the question: could we be happy in a relationship with anyone, if we changed the way we see them? When I sit down with couples to mediate I try to help them see one another in new ways. They need to only be able to use their imaginations.
When we first enter into a relationship with someone we see only the good about them. We think that we can live with anything they put forward, but the longer we are with them the more we find things that we cannot live with, even the things that make them who they are, even the things we first fell in love with. I remember loving my ex-husband’s boyish charm and zeal for life when I first met him. It was the charisma that made people gravitate to him. Yet, it was not as charming when we had a child and bills to pay. Then his care-free charm was translated as irresponsibility.
I think how we see ourselves plays a big role in our relationships with other people. After all, you allow people to treat you a certain way. I have really been questioning my self image, because I have a big milestone birthday this year. A birthday that was the last big one for both my mother and my sister. So, as I contemplate my fate I wonder what memories I want to make and how I want to use my imagination to create a different reality for me in the future.
My friend, Joanna, came to town to be with her mother while she is dying. Joanna had the same milestone birthday this year. We both grew our hair to the middle of our backs, carrying with it all the memories of each of those strands. Joanna found an old photo album in the guest room with pictures of us in our twenties. She said, “Come on. Pick one of these hairstyles you liked then.” Photos in hand, we went to a walk-in salon, because if we had thought about it we would have chickened out. We cut our hair to look like we did in our twenties. We had manicures and pedicures, and for a moment we forgot the fate of our mothers. We created new memories. We used our imaginations to feel younger, stronger, happier with ourselves and in relation to others.
This morning I woke up to a new reality about my future. I am using my imagination to create a new destiny. A new legacy for my family. Do you think they will be able to add their imaginations to the mix? What power would we have if we could use our joint imaginations to create a world filled with peace and love?